The Sun
by rakenrol
Summary: A one shot fic dealing with Nuriko and her love for Hotohori. ^__^ There's no lemon content, and the names are in Chinese (although I've altered it, you dont have to think hard to know who they are))


**The Sun  
A Fushigi Yuugi Fanfiction  
by : Sakeena deathstalkker@yahoo.com**  
  
Legal disclaimers apply to all anime.  
  
I couldn't be certain, even at length as I gazed at him. Whatever ways, his eyes were still the nicest things ever to lay your eyes on. It was the best, I assure you, and something more than worth setting your eyes on, something far better than the gleam on 50 teals worth of coin or even the sparkle of the stars.   
  
It was one of the nicest things ever. The last layer darker than the one preceding it ,and right in the middle, was the faint gleam that never ceased to leave. I spun my head away as I stood some distance away from him, somewhere to the opposite direction, with this hopes to find something more attractive than the Emperor's eyes. But there was none. The entire surrounding was pleasant, true, but nothing surpassed the beauty in the Emperor's golden eyes.   
  
Neatly trimmed in almost every corner was a plant letting its own gracefulness develop with the help of the palace gardeners. The palace itself was magnificent, with towering colonnades that supports the grand roofings. Yet, the Emperor's splendor remain supreme.   
  
All my life, I lived with such noble beauty, serving the Emperor as his consort , but was never happy. Joy was when I could see his compassionate eyes, but later realizing how gloomy it was, my eyes would fall down on the plants that always were standing straight, something that never seemed to have a predicaments and grief. It seemed fulfilled almost in every aspects. I knew I would have been the same, but there was this something that remain empty in my being. This emptiness sprung when I first laid my eyes on the Emperor's. And he himself could fill it.   
  
The clamor from below caught my attention. Two figures arrived bringing with them their noises. The one was a pretty teen girl who I faintly remembered as Ji Yan , my servant and the other was a well built young man about her age who was so obsessed in making money. They were the two creatures who brought most of the troubles and noises in the Palace , but also, must I confess, also most of the delight. The Emperor, who had lived but a lonely life, had learned to let out a thin line on his comely face which resembled something like a smile. How I cherished every scarce moment that he grins! However in the succeeding moments, after grasping the truth that the smile was not of any of my account, my eyes would fall down again on the plants below me, and my heart, I knew , was also sinking down.   
  
TUrning my head again, I saw the Emperor, his fascination focused on the two new arrivals. A faint grin crossed his face, as I had anticipated, and yes, even dreaded. But his gaze went back to the west, where the setting sun was located. Ever since I was brought to the palace to live with him, he been engrossed in staring at the setting sun. That was the loveliest thing he had seen, he had told me. And unknowingly, I would stare back at him and say the same things under my breath. But he never heard any of it, and in fact, hardly looked in my direction. That wounded me much. I spent half my life looking at him, but he never noticed me.   
  
The girl shouted something, following the her companion as he strode off. How I hated the sight. That girl. What a witch! She had only but stayed a day or two in the palace, but had completely succeeded in getting the Emperor's attention. How I loathed every moment that the Emperor would look at her in a way that he never did to me for the seven years I had lived with him. Everybody seemed to appreciate her, like her, and, who knows? Maybe even love her. Why? She was a mere servant of mine! That was, I presume, a riddle.   
  
Leaning on my elbows, my eyes fell on the scene bellow. The young lad who the brunette was having a hard time catching up with , made a face. His name was Sou, a young man, apparently younger than me by a year or so which make him 17 or 16, brown hair and bright brown eyes that shimmers even more at the scent of taels. If one could understand his fascination to his wealth, it was more likely one would understand my commitment over the Emperor. Money was his obsession, his love, his world, his life . Right after that brunette anyway. I noticed how he progressed with his greedy attitude when it comes to sacks of taels inasmuch as risking his life to gain profit by learning to set it aside for Ji Yan. And, as I so aware, only one thing had that kind of ability to make such a avaricious fellow like Sou give. But I was determined to be the cage that isolated a caged bird from a free one. Was I so plagued in making Ji Yan's life miserable, and it became much and much easier, since Ji Yan was tied to her role as my servant. Yet I didn't know why , since that girl never did her best so as not to offend me not one bit during the hours she was my servant.   
  
I smiled sadly to myself. Sou was walking in rapid strides, while Ji Yan was nagging him about something a court consort like me should never care about. I comprehended I was not the only one intrigued by their business, since as I caught the Emperor sneak a glance at them the thin line in his lips was visible. My eyes lowered. The only way I could get back at Ji Yan was to flirt with Sou. Ji Yan was furious, of course, but so well enough that she ventured slap me across the face one stormy night that I made her search for the pair of my luminous earring that never at all existed. She was the only one of my servants who had the guts to do that to me, ran up to me and hit my cheeks with the palm of her hand. But after that, her fury seemed to vanish along with the night wind when she handed me a stone, saying that was a nice treasure she found in replacement of the pair of the luminous earrings. She was happy, I knew, after over hearing my conversation with the flaming Sou who burst in my room after hearing my stiff orders to Ji Yan. I had told him how Ji Yan was taking my Emperor away, and by just hearing that I never had an atom of interest on Sou, her eyes glittered , knowing that I wasn't a rival for her dear Sou. But she was still one, for me. A rival I never had in my life. A rival I was induced to defeat. For, no matter how graceless and gauche she was, the Emperor took it as a fancy and his solemn but admiring eyes followed after her, the way he never did to me. It hurt me much.   
  
The Emperor was as old as I was, but even despite the tradition he refused to take any woman as his empress, saying he was "far more beautiful " than all the women his men had brought in the palace, then , right after, the statement about his waiting for the right person would follow. He said he wanted someone that would surpass the beauty of the setting sun in the west of the kingdom, and his. He was always looking at it, the way a man would look at the lady of his dreams, but all the same, must I say the way a father was looking at his son, with that much fascination that at first, I thought I resumed he had fallen for the sun. He was always staring at the sun like that, seemingly as though waiting for something that will never come, something that wasn't at all existing, like the pair of my luminous earrings. So absorbed was he that it appeared like he was more interested in the sun itself than some other manifestation an Emperor like him should be busy with, including women. He had lived most of his life lonely and solitary, forever waiting, forever dissatisfied forever unfulfilled, forever gazing at the splendor of the dusk , expecting to catch at least bit a glimpse of the shadow of that something. Of that someone, whose beauty would exceed that of his beautiful sun in the west. Before Ji Yan came, that beauty was never known , as he had said. And by that admiring comment , I absolutely got what he meant. And it hurt me. Much.   
  
Although I never, and neither did Ji Yan knew, that circumstances would bring us against each other. Before Ji Yan arrived, my beauty was known all over the kingdom. That would send a little knowing smile within me, but also confusion. Yes. Maybe they were right, I was beautiful, graceful and charming. I act and speak so womanly you would be so convince I was one. But nay, was I not and, with a sigh, I would wish I was one. I was a man myself, and never did I expect I would cross paths with this Emperor my late identical sister had once fell in love with. Yes. I had an identical sister once, and she was indeed pretty, far must I say, prettier than me. But because of my neglects, she died of an accident, and for that, I never stopped blaming myself. She was every inch a good sister every brother would like, yet, what did I do? My performance as a brother was so poor , it seemed like no punishment was harsh enough for my sin. But there was nothing to do, so instead , I began parading around as a woman, so at least, to let her live within me, that she may use my body to reach her dreams. When she was younger, she had gone to a fortune teller, and the fortune teller, an old mysterious woman with sinister eyes, told her future with the help of her crystal ball. I should never knew about it, because one of the policies of the sinister eyed woman was to prohibit having a company when she tells each one's future or else something would happen. But anyhow, my curiosity was out of the line, and I was intrigued, refusing to believe such thing. So right there, in the crystal ball from where I hid behind the curtains and draperies, I saw a reflection of my sister, watching the Emperor with such loving eyes I had never seen before, as the Emperor endured on staring at something in the west. Abruptly the first time she had seen the Emperor, she fallen for him and was indeed grateful for the fortune teller about such nice future that she gave all thirty seven taels she had. But as she walked out of the tent, she died immediately. I couldn't be certain whether it was because of the sinister woman's policies which I denied to follow, or that was a set up from the woman herself. But one thing for sure, my sister died along with her dreams but her love for the Emperor reigned supreme amidst the agony. Her dreams died, and so, I realized there was no hope for her fortune to come true if she died. I blamed myself, and when I came back to the fortune teller's tent, she was gone, and but left an luminous earring without a pair. In seeing that earring, a change came to me. Something that changed my whole life.   
  
They mistook me as my sister, and therefore, they had it that I was the one who died. They never found my sister's body, but I never protested and attempted to tell them the truth. The truth is almost what everybody is searching, yet usually the thing which we usually scorn and turn our backs at when it is waiting right before our faces. I myself began to believe that I was dead, and it was my sister who had attached herself to my body. She lived within me, every inch a lovely woman she was, and sooner or later, her beauty which radiated to my whole body, was known all over the land. It was her love for the Emperor that made her all that lovely, and it was her being within me that made me all that ravishing. So not so sooner , the Empire sent out orders for all women within a certain age range to proceed to the Palace right away. Even if it was against my family's will, I submitted myself to the Imperial Order and went to the palace along with other women mostly older than I. Then, I was the one chosen by the Imperial Counsel and the Emperor himself to be his consort. With this immediate twist of fate as the circumstances moved closer to prove the prophesy accurate, I myself moved to with the Emperor to be his loyal consort , despite my family's refusal. I pursued the life with the Emperor in the Palace and, beyond my expectations, I began my wildest pursuit of the Emperor. First of course, it was against my will, and loving him was mere pretenses, for my sister's sake. Later on , nonetheless, the make-believe became something a part of a fact, a time which I most dreaded. But, however I denied everything and resolved to go back to my wretched family on my knees and confess everything. But whenever this thoughts occurs, the luminous earring dangles down from my bosom where I hid it and reflects to me the incidents of the past, most of which were on my sister, her death and the sinister eyes of the fortune teller and on my ears echoed the harsh warning of the woman. It caused a great pain in my conscience, and needless to say, much shame and regret. The life I feared came to me, hunting me even amidst the towering pillars glorious treasures and colorful walls which would have cost more than my life. Gone were my silent nights, replaced by those where you could neither bear to close your eyes in fear to see things you dread nor open them to the world of reality which had been torturing me. At length, I was pretty much convinced that the only way I was to get out of the nightmare the woman and my sister was creating was to give in to the fate, actually meant for my sister. My existence, I realized, ws merely for that purpose of fulfilling the oracle and no other else. I surrendered myself again, to what seemed like the hundredth time to the life my sister should have lead, was it not for my fault. I took the Palace training for me seriously, learned everything a woman should do, the right words that would come out from a lady's mouth, and yes, all it takes to be one. But right then, I was still battling that senseless feelings for the Emperor and persuaded myself that it was just a stupid puppy love until something struck me. I found myself always watching him, as he watched the setting sun, and I felt with much realization and disbelief. I was no longer a man, but a woman, and I lived but to continue the fate my sister should have. Her love for the Emperor went to me, and I found myself watching him even more intently every single day that passed, as he leaned on his balcony to witness the splendor of the setting sun. I admired him since then, then , watching him not only during the afternoons when he went out to his balcony, but his every little move. My feelings, which I conclude, not merely my sister's, grew stronger each day that passed, I could not make myself desert him, and not the least bit capability to stop myself from casting sheep's eyes on him. The more I saw him, the more I fell in love. Until, alas, I vowed to make him mine - not my sister's and not the fortune teller's - but mine. The once aversion for the luminous earrings turned to affection, and sad to say, the once obedient brother that I was was replaced by a lady which had become a rival of my sister. It was so hard to believe, that was why I dare breathe it to no one, that I was in competition with someone who was dead for what was like more than three years or so. Much more to say, my sister, a creature of opposite sex with mine. Sudden insight occurred to me that fate itself was being kind to my sister and had caused her dead, since if otherwise, I would have killed her myself in my love for the Emperor. My beloved sister knew about this, that was why she turned against me, the immediate cause of the downfall of my the reign of my splendor faded like that of the waning moon. All this began, I was aware, when that cursed girl, Ji Yan came . I had it figured out that it could be that my sister was living within Ji Yan and that why her charm progressed to be so powerful, she had the Emperor enslaved with it. That was the main reasons I despised Ji Yan so badly. If there was a chance, I would have killed her. But it was that I could never be so sure whether my presumptions were true. One thing could be certain, though. What used to be on my head moved on to hers -- and that was the crown I once possessed. It was the crown of the pulchritude that " surpassed that of the setting sun". And my my! The other girl - a mere servant of mine - claimed it and knowing it was way too much for my principles. By the days that passed that the Emperor had cast her the admiring look he had never towards me, by the way Ji Yan had become so much of a splendor, by the way that someone had appeared, the someone who could " surpass the beauty of the setting sun" it was, definitely, torturing me. I felt nothing but pain, envy, hatred, jealousy and sadness, all of those mixed into one. And together, it had the ability to create a loathsome monster out of me.   
  
Whenever I gaze at myself before the mirror , wonder comes to me. I was still questioning myself to who was that person who I had seen from the crystal ball. The creature who was watching the Emperor. The creature who looked so much like my sister. The creature who had fallen for the Emperor. And yes, maybe at the beginning, I had assumed it was her, my beloved sister. But as this life goes on, and I see myself at the same spot the creature in the crystal ball was in , always gazing at the Emperor , marveling at his elegance, cherishing his every gallant move. I couldn't help thinking I had mistaken my sister for myself. Maybe that was not her, but me all along . If ever it was the case, I had made a complete fool of myself. But I was living the life that maybe was meant for me. I had proved the fortune teller's prediction flawless. However, my sister had it into her mind that she was the creature. Yet, amidst all these, no one could be certain of who that person was. Me and my sister resemble each other so closely, and after I had begun dressing up like a woman and we resembled each other even more. So in the end, it remains a mystery that only the future could prove. And that future was the result of our battle. Only time will tell.   
  
Casting sheep's eyes over at my Emperor as he resumed his eyes on the sun, several ideas came to my head. All sorts. Just as I bent lower, something fell from my bosom. It was that luminous earrings. Delicately as if holding a child, I clutched it in my hands. I myself stared at the sun, still clasping the earrings. The thoughts on my head were not the least bit nice, but I bit it. My gaze fell on the Emperor again, and much love went over to my whole body. Everyday that pass, I loved him even more and more and more. I had to make him mine, no matter what. And those earrings in my hands was never going to be alone again. It was going to find its pair, in time. As for that time, I was so absorbed in staring at the Emperor's lovely eyes. It was one of the nicest things ever. 

J**anuary 99 © Sakeena **


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